…and it finally snapped. I thought I could handle all this stress and anxiety by myself. I was wrong. I can’t do this anymore. I’ve kept everything bottled up inside me for too long. I broke down today (Tuesday). Never thought I’d do it at school, but I did. I fucking snapped today.
Everything finally slapped me in the face. I finally realized what reality really is. My life is live; live streaming. I don’t have any pause, rewind, fast forward or stop buttons. The play button is permanently pressed. And there is no way to stop my life.
I’ve made too many wrong turns and postponed too many important things in my life. All these mistakes finally overflowed. And here I am, fucking up my life, again, like always. And my only substitutional escape to this screw-up was tears. Crying didn’t even fully express how I really felt. Not even words on a page could express how I am. I could spend a whole week venting to someone and still, they won’t know what I truly feel inside.
I just needed an excuse to escape. That excuse was a breakdown.