I want to get lost in the depths of the ocean and never surface. To be absorbed into the black abyss.
I want to be kidnapped and dumped on an abandoned island and never leave. Just be completely isolated from civilization. I want to crawl into fetal position. Abolish any thoughts, emotions, feelings, anything and everything. Let my heavy eyelids conform to gravity and never wake. Then wait for time to perish of my existence.
There is nothing, absolutely nothing, in this universe that can fully capture and describe how I feel right now. I want endless sleep. That is all.
I want to do research and internships not because i want to show off how smart I am or prove how intelligent I am. I want to do it because I have a passion in the subject and I want to make a difference and help others.
I feel like I’m running an extra long marathon or triathlon. I wish he would give me more checkpoints so I know what’s going on between us.
What if everything you believed in…was a lie?
I have discovered you are deficient in moral character and I don’t know if I can handle this.
How am I supposed to start a new academic year happily when I end my most emotional summer in my life?
The most unexpected happened all in one summer. My goodness, life is really shoving my face into the ground.
Second time. This is the second time I’ve felt so…blank, clueless, lost…almost abandoned. I’m sorry if I am at a lost of words but I honestly do not know how to respond, let alone how to feel at that moment.
But I want you to know, no matter what the outcome will be, I support you. I will understand. And inevitably accept. I will be okay. Maybe not now, not this moment. Not even tonight. But I will be alright.
I really hate my feelings.
Screw you mind.
I really miss my friends. I wish they could come spend time with me and I could show them my current college life.
Sorry but my personal background and values put education before anything. In my perspective, education comes first before anything. I’ve been mentally manipulated to drive towards studies and education than everything else. I can’t control myself.
If you tell me to sleep earlier, I could try but if I need to do homework or study, sorry, sleep will not happen.
Dressing nice is overrated. No one gives a shit about how you look. FUCK. YES.
I get to be whoever, whatever, and however I want.
Hung out with @lmpj, @fishyhandsfishyfeet, and Jean. 9 hours of baking, making watermelon balls, cooking, tv, and a whole lot of fun :). We tried to make brownie pops….fail..twice lol and we tried to make brownie-cupcakes….fail…ish. lol but fun process :) Pang is an awesome cook, yes!
Being around the right people is what true happiness is. And I’m a trillion times grateful and thankful for having the best friends who sacrificed time and effort to share and create new memories. I’ll definitely cherish the feelings that left with me when departing. You guys are definitely one of a kind, and shall forever stay in my heart. :)